Answer to the Blog’s first theme: Film & prompt, “The best film I’ve ever watched”

Thank you to Eloise, who submitted a brilliant response!

You can find Eloise on Letterboxd – ellweez | Instagram – ell.raj

The Film Chosen – I Saw The TV Glow

I used to determine whether or not a film was considered good from the basic criteria of whether the lighting was nice or if it had good shots. I blame this on going to film school and trying to fit in with the people who thought ‘The Godfather’ was the best film of all time. I got stuck with the idea that the only things that made films good were the artsy lighting choices or how detailed the set design was. Of course these are all important, and they shape how we watch films, but I forgot the most important thing of all. How it made me feel.

I sat down to watch ‘I Saw The TV Glow’ without knowing anything about it. I had a basic idea of the themes of the film, but I wasn’t sure how they would portray them. Though, looking back, I think this was the best possible way to go into this viewing. ‘I Saw The TV Glow’ is a surreal, whimsical, soul-numbing depiction of someone who spends their days wondering if its too late for them, of someone who is too afraid to let themselves be who they truly are. Its, in my opinion, the neurodivergent experience of having your own special interests, and the awkwardness of trying to bring other people into that world. The film delves into themes of queer identity so tenderly and beautifully, I think it is just such a tragic tale of someone not allowing themselves to be who they are, and who they want to be. Its the complacency and the defeat of thinking there is no time left for change, so you just stay who you are, as its the easiest path.

The film follows the central character Owen, and his friend Maddy, who’s friendship is built around their shared love for the tv show ‘The Pink Opaque’. However, one day Maddy tells Owen her plan to leave home and to break free. She asks him to come, but he decides to stay in the comfort of the life he has. In his early twenties, Maddy returns, and tries to convince him that the life they’re currently living is not real and they have to leave this current realm to be who they truly are. Owen struggles with what she is saying, as he is afraid to let go. To let go and accept himself. So he continues his life, coasting down the easy road. But was it really the right choice? I think its a cleverly portrayed allegory for people struggling with their gender identity. Is the safe route of sticking to what you know, really the best way? After following Owen throughout his life, and seeing how he is constantly living in a state of confusion and unhappiness, the film leaves an uneasy feeling in your mind. It makes you question yourself, and whether the choices you’ve made are the right ones. I am someone who often struggles with thinking I am running out of time. I am someone who has life plans, and deadlines for the major events in my life. Watching this film was like staring into a crystal ball. It told me things about myself, and helped me understand things. I don’t want to be a helpless wanderer. There is no use in self pity, if you feel like you’re just coasting through life, the only person who can change that is yourself. “THERE IS STILL TIME”